Finding a fish in kitchen was lost, the host swore find out the thief who stole the fish.
尽管汉语中似乎有“厨房”“主人”两个主语,译者果断地选定了“the host”作主语。打点清晰,增强了句子的内聚力。
夏威夷的沙滩上,椰影婆娑,海风习习,一妙龄女郎正躺在白色的塑料椅上养神。
On the Hawaiian sandy beach, the coconut palms are whirling, the congenial sea breeze is blowing, and a young lady is lying in the white plastics chair resting to restore energy.
因为是轻松读本,又是描述性的文字,使用了三个主语“the coconut palms”“the congenial sea breeze”“a young lady”仍是可取的。
五、戒结构单调,组合生硬 “拉郎配”
由于汉英结构不同,表达方式迥异,“硬性翻译”不仅读起来别扭,而且会闹出笑话。这就译者在翻译时灵活使用整合的技巧,将句子整合,凸显汉语中所隐含的层次,补充所缺失的成分。有时将简单句译成并列句,有时将并列句译成主从句。
在纪念大学毕业20周年聚会时,我忽然问起原来的班主任:“我个子又不矮,怎么把我安排在了第一排呢?”
At the reunion party for 20 anniversary of graduation from university, I suddenly asked my former teacher in charge of our class then:" Since I am not of short stature, how did you arrange me at the first row?"
一个高度近视的女博士去擦鞋店擦高统靴,秃头老板亲自蹲下来给她效劳。
When woman doctor who suffers a severe myopic went to shoes-polishing shop for her buskins , the bald boss squatted down to serve her personally.
黑体字部分,正是契合了英语的表达习惯。
六、戒“愚忠”,不谙增减之道
我们耳熟能详的东西外国人可能会感到一头雾水,译者需要增加必要的说明和补充或者减译。否则,外国人会不知所云。毕竟,汉译英最终是给外国人看的。
例如:风水
fengshui——the location of a house or tomb, supposed to have an influence on the fortune of a family.
例如:(美国对台)“三不政策”
Washington’s “three no’s” policy toward Taiwan——on support for Taiwan independence, no support for a two-China policy, and on support for Taiwan membership in international organizations on the basis of statehood.
忽闻有人在牡丹亭畔长吁短叹。允潜步窥立,乃府中歌姬貂禅也。
In the silence he heard moans and sighs near the Peony Pavilion. Stealing over, he discovered the singing girl, Diaochan.
(罗慕士译《三国演义·王司徒巧施连环计》)
会当凌绝顶,一览众山小。
One day I shall climb
Clear to the summit,
See how small surrounding
Mountain tops appear as they lie below me
(新西兰人路易·艾黎译《杜甫·望岳》)
I can't open my eyes to watch your jumping into the fiery pit, for I will shut my eyes at the time.
我不会眼睁睁看着你往火坑里跳,到时候我会闭上的。
不要嫌我黑,两眼放光辉;不要嫌我瘦,一身好精肉。
Do not Cold-shoulder me for my swarthy(黝黑的) face, but I have a pair of bright piercing(敏锐的) eyes;
Do not Cold-shoulder me for my slight figure, but I’m lean and healthy.
文中“the location of a house or tomb, supposed to have an influence on the fortune of a family.”
“on support for Taiwan independence, no support for a two-China policy, and on support for Taiwan membership in international organizations on the basis of statehood.”“
In the silence”“One day I” “for” “but ”为增译,“府中”为减译,实并入后句。减译手法在“七戒语句重复”中还会提及。
七、戒语句重复
汉语多重复,以强化语气;英语则要尽量避免重复。
先生曰:“狼负我,狼负我!”狼曰:“吾非固欲负汝。天生汝辈,固需吾辈食也。”
“ You are an ungrateful beast,” complained the man.
“Not at all,” retorted the wolf, “it is not that I’m ungrateful, but you men were created for us to devour.”
(颜惠庆译《马中锡·中山狼传》)
王曰:“此鸟不飞则已,一飞冲天;不鸣则已,一鸣惊人。”
“ The bird may not have flown yet”, replied the King,“Once it does, it will soar to the sky. I may not have cried out yet, but once it does, it will startle everyone.”
(杨宪益译《史记·滑稽列传》
阿凡提借了财主一锭金子,还他时给了他两锭。
Afanty borrowed a small ingot of gold from a moneybags, but repaid him two ones.
(选自艾临《幽默新大陆》)
以上粗体字都是为了避免重复,下面两句中的粗体字属于省译,当然也是为了避免重复。
又斗争,又团结,以斗争的手段,达团结之目的。
Unity, struggle, unity through struggle.
中国人也好,外国人也好,死人也好,活人也好,对的就是对的,不对的就是不对的。
What is right is right and what is wrong is wrong, no matter what it concerns, the Chinese or foreigners, the dead or the living.
为了避免重复,还可将相同的汉字故意译成不同的英文,如
在78岁高龄的人的眼里,大多数人都显得有点年轻。倘若美利坚对44岁以下的人抱有不信任态度的话,它必将阻止杰佛逊起草独立宣言,阻止华盛顿领导独立战争,阻止麦迪逊制订宪法,甚至阻止哥伦布发现新大陆!
In the eyes of a 78-year old person, most people seem to be little young. If the USA embraces mistrustful attitude to those who are under 44, it would clog necessarily Jefferson from drafting the Declaration of Independence, obstruct Washington from leading Independent War, prevent Madison from formulating the Constitution, and even keep Columbus from discovering the New Continent!
从渲染艺术效果来讲,重复并非绝对不允许的,如:
行路难,行路难。
多歧路,今安在?
长风破浪会有时,
直挂云帆济沧海!
Hard is the way, hard is the way.
Don’t go astray! Whither today.
A time will come to ride the wind and cleave the waves,
I’ll set my cloudlike sail to cross the sea which raves.
(许渊冲译《李白·行路难》)
八、戒另起炉灶,走失精气神,沦为法国作家梅纳日所批评的 “不忠的美人”——即语言优美但不忠于原文。(参见2005年08月26日《济南日报》: 艾临文章《不忠的美人与忠实的美人——写在〈每天幽它一默〉出版后》)严复在翻译《天演论》时偶 有为“雅”而不“信” (见陈廷佑《英文汉译技巧》)。译文要力求其“信”,尽可能契合汉语原来句子的气势、情绪和结构。
例如,元朝人王实甫写下了《西厢记》,张雪静改编后并作了翻译——
掏出张生那封信,回头环视见梳妆台上的梳妆盒,眼睛一转,心里说有了,将信放了进去,合上盖时故意压了一角露在外面。
Rose took out Zhang’s letter, she thought, “It would be better to put it in her make-up case, and letter find it herself.” So she put the letter in the case, leaving a corner of it sticking out, so that it would be quickly noticed.
不难看出,译文与原文相去甚远,互不吻合,成了“两张皮”。
我们不希望这件事影响中美关系。
China hates to see Sino-US relations damaged by this incident.
用China hates to比“We don’t hope”贴切。
吾十五有志于学,三十而立,四十而不惑,五十而知天命,六十而耳顺,七十而从心所欲不愈矩。
At fifteen, I had my mind bent on learning truth; at thirty, my words deeds were appropriate; at forty, I perceived truth and doubts ceased; at fifty, I understood what heaven had mandated for mankind; at sixty, I could comply with the appointments of heaven; at seventy, I could do as my heart desired, and never swerved from the path of right.
(金沛霖译《论语》)
你已经死在过深的怨愤里了吗?
死?不,不,我还活着——
请给我以火,给我以火!
Have you perished in this deep rancor and bitterness?
Death? No, no. I’m still alive.
Please give me a light, give me a light!
(欧阳桢等译《艾青·煤的对话》)
结语一:别以为有本词典就可动手翻译了,再好的词典也不能解决所有的问题。词典是死的,人是活的,现实生活是千百万化的,词典易得,翻译家难觅。“翻译可能是宇宙进化迄今所产生的最复杂类型的事情。”这成了翻译界的一句名言。翻译不仅要求译者有较高的英文水准,对各种句式成竹在胸,脱口而出,还要精通汉语,吃透中文的精神内涵。后者往往是被人们忽视的,相对反倒是更重要的,很多人英语写得洋洋洒洒,汉语译得艰涩拗口,问题多出在这里。只有知难而进,学贯中西,才能笔笔如刀,游刃有余。光懂英语,或只懂汉语,都是做不好英汉翻译工作的。
结语二:由于对翻译归属的认知有分歧,导致了译文风格上的明显的反差。南京大学的许钧认为翻译是科学,1+1=2;北京大学的许渊冲认为翻译是艺术,1+1〉2。争论仍在继续。我不想、也无力充当“二许之辩”的和事佬,不光因为他们是名人、是大家,我只想保留自己的见解。窃以为笔者系调和论者,在翻译上科学性和艺术性兼而有之,就不同的体裁各有倚重。因为在诗歌翻译方面,我倾向是艺术,1+1〉2,赋予张力,收放有据;在论文、科技翻译方面,我主张是科学,1+1=2,信守严谨,毫厘不爽。我记起傅雷1951年在《高老头》重译序言里讲过的话,“即使最优秀的译文,其韵味较之原文仍不免过或不及”。可见,“度”的控制是何等的困难。基于这一理念,我对文中例句未作太多点评,仅仅以加粗的倾斜字体简单地提醒和强调,把裁判权交给读者。毕竟,译作无定本,众人即圣人,读者才是真正的上帝